Is he the one for me?
I have been asked this question a few times about my own love experience and decided to answer with a blog post.
“How did you know that he/she was the one for you?”
When I asked my husband this question, he answered…
“You can feel when something is real. You can’t make something phony, fit. When it’s real, it just fits.”
A lot of Christian singles have a check list. My husband and I had one too. I personally do not believe there is anything wrong with having a list, but you have to be careful how you develop it and how you let it govern your final decision to say, “I do”.
I agree with my husband when he says that there was a genuine connection between us. And although our lists were important to us, that connection superseded the list. Then, as it turns out, God saw to it that we just happened to fulfill each other’s lists as well! For us, most things just fell right in place.
There are no set rules or instructions to follow. The most important thing is to be led of God.
Ultimately, the will of God plays the deciding factor.
Physical attraction is important but true love goes deeper than the skin. On our first date we went to dinner and afterwards, he took me on a tour of the church building where he pastors. When we arrived at his church, I watched him carefully. He walked across the pulpit and down the aisles. As he told me about the church, I could see his sincere love for the ministry beaming from his eyes. That moment revealed his heart and steadfast love for God and people. I found myself drawn to him by not only his look or his words, but by his actions also. He shined a reflection of what I desire to be as a person and child of God.
So after I asked myself, “Is he the one for me?”, I followed up with these questions.
1. Is his love for God sincere? What story does his actions tell?
2. Will he enhance and complement my life? Am I willing to do the same for him?
3. Is he afraid to do what is right?
4. Is he able and willing to love me as Christ loved the church? Keep in mind that Jesus gave His life for the church.
5. Does he take his burdens to God in prayer?
6. How does he measure up to my personal preferences?
7. Are the blessings of the Lord made manifest in our relationship?
8. Is he gracious?
9. Is he grateful?
10. Does his words build me up or tear me down?
These are just a few of the questions I evaluated based on what I knew what would be best for me and my life in Christ.
Over all, there are no set rules to answer, “Is he the one for me?” For me, I could answer positively to all of these questions on our first date. Yet still, to be confident in God’s final answer, it may take some time. The answer could come in his action, a single moment, your prayer, or a simple word.
I believe that somehow and someway, God speaks. It’s up to us to be tuned in to hear His voice. He has the answers to all of our questions.
Final words from my husband…
“There’s no set of instructions…it’s not from without. It’s from within, and manifests without.”
God bless you in your courtship, dating, and waiting…
Love always,
Candra
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