Category Archives: Courtship

I hadn’t heard sex referred to as the “cookie” until I read Steve Harvey’s book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”. The book was a great read. It’s funny, entertaining, and it enlightened me as to how men think when it comes to relationships.

Harvey says that men need love, support, and the cookie.  No arguments here. Giving love and support are two things shared by many types of relationships and makes for a great foundation to a long and lasting relationship. Now, what about the cookie? That is a more delicate issue.

It is agreed that men want the cookie. Men need the cookie. Men love cookies.

There are some men who follow the 90-day rule or something similar. They’ll willingly wait 90 days for the cookie if they are serious about a woman. I suppose this is considered a respectable time frame. However God’s plan for courtship and marriage ventures into another direction. There are no 90, 100, or even 365 day waiting periods for having sex before marriage. God planned for sex to take part within marriage, not without.

So if men have to have the cookie, what are Christian women to do?

Well, I am excited to celebrate that as Christian women we do not have to compromise our convictions. Not all men are willing to let down Christian standards and personal convictions just to get the cookie. Not all men have a frightful lack of self-control. Many men today are planning and waiting until marriage before they have cookies. They are seriously in love with their women and their God.

The real Christian man does not want to dishonor his woman or damage her soul. He makes himself worthy of her tenderness and love. He pleases the Lord knowing God will bless and protect their union in return for his faithfulness.

Thank God for real men who love Jesus!

Some women say that they haven’t met any men like this. I admit the numbers seem mighty skinny, but God always has a people committed to serving Him. And some of those people are indeed men. They are real men who just happen to love Jesus. They have surrendered their all to the Lord and affirmed that their bodies are not their own, but are temples of God. And their love for God will lead them to honor a woman while dating.

Yes, he wants the cookie too… but not before it’s time.

It reminds me of one of my favorite passages of scripture.

“I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.” Song of Solomon 2:7  

Yet while these men have strong convictions, others do not. If a woman is willing to freely give away her cookies, there are men who will gladly indulge. They may not respect her, but they will take the cookie.  They may be conscious that she has lowered her standards, but they don’t question. He knows she will hate herself later because he is not going to commit long-term to her, but… he will take the cookie and flee. Sex doesn’t mean the woman is loved and it doesn’t mean marriage is pending.

Love and respect must first begin inside of us, right? There is a bad seed that gets planted in the mind of women. It grows into the theory that if I don’t give up the cookie he will get it from someone else. However, he may go get it from someone else anyway. I pray women everywhere love themselves enough to do what is best for their bodies and souls.

Remember, there are good, Christian, holy men out there who are different from the rest. They believe in the power of God’s Word and promises. They walk in the Spirit and are not led by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, or the pride of life. They revere Christian women as God’s own and are noble with their love. Yes, they desire love, support, and the cookie. Nonetheless, they want the cookie when the time is right.

I’ve met them. I’ve heard their testimonies. And soon I will marry one of them.

They are men most precious and well worth waiting for.

Save the cookie until the wedding night and enjoy.