No, not Broken. It Just isn’t Time Yet.

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My greatest frustration during the years of being single was not the desire to be held, or coming home to an empty house, or even dining solo watching the couple at a nearby table feed each other. The greatest frustration for me was this notion from people that I had some kind of disease. I was reminded constantly that I was not married and made to feel like I could not be whole unless I was.

I was once asked by someone all in one breath, “You’re how old, you’re not married, you ain’t got no kids…what’s wrong with you?”

It was the assumption that I was in some kind of ailing condition that I had to be delivered from lest I should meet an untimely demise. People meant well, but they were trying to fix something that was not broken. It was all just a matter of waiting on the Lord.

I wasn’t broken. It just simply wasn’t time.

The heartache of being single can seem unbearable, but no one dies from being single. Life is not over when you’re single. This logical fact seems reasonable enough, right? So why did it take so long for this logical truth to register in my brain? Again, the heartache was excruciating sometimes. Especially when I didn’t have my mind on things above and my prayer life was on life support. And particularly during those times when there was a hope of deepening a relationship with someone that abruptly ended.

According to the Word of God, He created humankind to be social creatures. So, there is nothing wrong with desiring to be married. It was a part of God’s plan from the beginning.

But we must be careful not to make marriage an idol.

We must guard our hearts so that we do not do anything and everything just to be married. I had some days where all I did was think about who my husband would be, where he was, and when would he come my way. It’s okay to think on these things from time to time, but I would literally devote whole days and nights to these thoughts. I would do this not considering what God wanted for my life at that time. There were other things that God had planned for me and I almost missed it because I was sidetracked with thoughts of marriage. I was sidetracked with the illusion that I was not okay just as I was.

Finally, I sought after God with the same passion I sought after marriage.

The Lord assured me that yes, one day I would be a wife. However, until that time, He had work for me to do. My purpose for living extended beyond being a wife. I am also a child of God and I live to worship Him, not marriage.

When I let go and I let God, I found so much joy. Oh my goodness did the joy of the Lord overflow in my life! It was hard letting go at first. I was so obsessed with falling in love and having a man, but it was not time yet.

There was nothing wrong with me. It just simply wasn’t time.

Dwayne Wood’s song comes to mind…

As soon as I stop worrying… Worrying how the story ends… I let go and I let God, let God have His way… That’s when things start happening… I’ll stop looking at back then… I let go and I’ll let God have His way.

Having a better attitude and better faith can really change a situation around. I didn’t have a man… not even a slight prospect, but God strengthened me.

At that point I knew that there was nothing wrong with me being single. I was fine. I was blessed. And I dared anybody to tell me otherwise. I know in whom I have believed and He knows what is best for me. There are so many great things that have happened to me that would not have, except I were single.

The 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make: Embracing All God Has for You

Maintain your confidence and a grateful heart. No matter who talks about you, looks upon you with pity, or attempts to make you feel second class because your ring finger is (for the moment) undressed. The most important thing is our relationship with our Heavenly Father. In Him we are blessed, not broken, and that settles it.

Be grateful until the time,

Candra

 

Love and Grace Home

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17 comments for “No, not Broken. It Just isn’t Time Yet.

  1. LNS
    August 18, 2012 at 1:19 am

    I’m so glad I found your blog. I’m 35 and single for 17 years. It’s so encouraging to find someone who has been through similar circumstances. It’s very difficult to endure and persevere but thank you for sharing your stories and giving me hope.

    • August 19, 2012 at 7:32 am

      You are so welcome. God keeps this blog on my heart everyday. I understand well the difficulties. Praise be to God, He is greater than them all. :) Thank for reading and please share with others. God bless!

  2. Queenie
    July 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Thank God for your life. I just started reading your blog and am so blessed with it. Thank you for sharing your life. You are a blessing.

    • July 27, 2011 at 10:40 am

      I love to share how wonderful God is and how He is able to guide and bring us out of any situation. So, it is a blessing to me that you have taken the time to read the blog. I pray you continue to enjoy.

  3. Andrea
    June 28, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Hi! I loooove your article! Just like you, I am also a self-proclaimed “Ms. Love in Waiting.” I do hope that one day, you’d be able to find the man that God has planned for you. :) God bless,and keep believing in God as you don’t lose hope to find love. :)

    • June 28, 2011 at 12:15 pm

      Hi Andrea! Thank you so much for reading! Yes, I am your sister Ms. Love in Waiting and have been for several years. But in the process of writing my blog the Lord has sent my husband. Praise God! I started writing the blog in 2009 and later that year we met and starting dating right away. So here I am, at the age of 36… after 15 years of waiting, I will be getting married this August. I could cry every time I think about it. The fifteen years have not been easy, but God knows how to keep us comforted and loved. And now I am discovering that this is just the beginning of the story. ;)

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I will keep them close to my heart and I know that others will read and be encouraged also. Your words apply to all the single ladies out there!

      Please keep in touch! Blessings!

  4. Ms. Moore
    June 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I love this blog also; have been feeling kind of like an outcast lately with trying to be a young single Christian woman, but after reading this blog I know that am not alone in trying to wait patiently on the Lord and working on being whole while in this season. This blog has really blessed my spirit and I love you and keep doing your good work for the Lord, from one young single Christian to another I wish you many blessings in your future.

    Thanks,
    Ms. Moore

    • June 10, 2011 at 6:29 am

      Thank you Ms. Moore. You will be in my prayers.

      I can’t thank you enough for reading my blog. It makes my heart happy!

  5. Lira
    June 4, 2011 at 4:33 am

    Thanks for these encouraging words. i’ve become a rare breed in my friendship circles and church and was starting to feel ‘broken’. These words lifted my spirits and put my eyes back on God. Thank you

  6. Mental Xpress
    April 16, 2011 at 1:09 am

    Great post truly enjoyed it not because I am single but because it preaches the truth and I wish many single ladies would build a relationship with God…

    • April 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! I’m enjoying your blog as well.

  7. April 8, 2011 at 3:26 am

    I am looking forward to a cup of mango tea, and thee…reading your blog is a priority on my “Things to do while being single” list.

  8. Sherry White
    April 7, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    I love this sis.I wish that all the young girls in church and out of church would read this and understand what you are saying. And to see how truly blessed you are! Love you sis!

    • April 8, 2011 at 7:04 am

      Love you too! Maybe I can publish this blog some day! What do you think? :)

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