Should I Tell Him How I Feel

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This post is inspired by one of my best friends who decided it was time to tell him how she feels.

should i tell him how i feelShould I Tell Him How I Feel?

I see this question a lot in the Christian Single community. Should I tell him how I feel? Is it my place as a Christian woman to express my feelings first?

I am (for the most part) in the camp that says when a man has an interest in a woman, he will express it.

I know it can be frustrating, waiting and wondering if he is ever going to say something. He’s friendly, shares the same interests, and even ventures in the territory of flirting with you.

Your heart is captured and all he has to say is, “Will you ___” and you’re saying yes before he finishes the question. It could be an invite to dinner, coffee, a concert…you don’t care…the answer will be, “Yes.”

But it never happens.

You feel as though you are both getting closer but he pulls and pushes you in and out of his world.

In this instance, I’ve found more happiness in moving on. Life is complicated enough and God’s blessings do not come with sorrow.

In the case of my friend, her circumstance was different. Her situation made me think again about a woman’s prerogative to express how she feels. I am very proud of her.

This man was not someone toying with her emotions. They only met very briefly on a few occasions. He lives out of town and they don’t share the same circle of friends.

There was something about him that touched her heart and she had the courage to make it known. A rare opportunity to see him was present, so she made her way to see him and expressed her feelings.

No, she did not tell him that God said that he was supposed to be her husband…

Please don’t EVER do that.

Her approach was honest, sincere, and pure.

I know there are many who may not approve of her action, but not everyone’s condition is the same. The risk of rejection is frightening, but I believe that if we take action with a right heart, God will be our guide and protector.

Will a relationship bloom because she told him how she feels? Right now, it’s too early to say. But if it doesn’t, she can move on with her life without question. She’s content that she did it and now has closure.

Should you tell him how you feel?

You have to weigh your circumstance and apply wisdom. If he has plenty of opportunity to express his heart to you, but keeps you guessing, it may be time to move on.

Be mature in the Spirit and wise about what is and is not good for your life.

Please share your thoughts in the comment below.

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6 comments for “Should I Tell Him How I Feel

  1. Tee
    February 7, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    I have shared my feelings and have been rejected, humiliated and ashamed. Next time I pray to the Lord for guidance. It is hard to recover when one is expecting reciprocity.

    • February 8, 2014 at 10:12 am

      God bless you. I’m sorry that you had that experience. Yes, I hope that we all pray for the Lord’s guidance in everything. We must guard our heart and move as God allows.

  2. Camille
    February 7, 2014 at 12:48 am

    There are examples in the Bible where women of faith step up and show how they feel either in their words or actions. Think of Ruth, who approached Boaz by going to where he was sleeping and laying down at his feet. That’s a big move and was definitely not something accepted in the Israelite society at the time.
    Esther also approached the king, and even though the circumstances were different and he was her husband it was still an act that if received wrongly would have killed her. God blessed both women richly.

    So yes, I do think that in certain circumstances and situations you should tell him how you feel.

    • February 7, 2014 at 8:48 am

      I agree Camille. God is amazing, wonderful, and creative. If you talk to Christian couples across the globe, we will find that each one has their own unique love story. This is why I constantly encourage singles to walk in the Spirit and be sensitive to how God is leading your heart.

      Ruth and Esther were blessed indeed. Each had their own unique story, but what they had in common was they served God and walked in His ways.

  3. Kriss
    February 6, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    It would be interesting to hear what she said to him, you give examples of what women should not say, but given that this was an exception it would also be great to know what she said that was simple and sincere without being over the top.

    • February 7, 2014 at 8:59 am

      I would love to know too. :) But she’s keeping the sentiments of her heart between her, him, and God. I think whatever words that come from a sincere and pure heart are the right words to say.

      My opinion is strong about not walking up to a man and saying, God told me that you are my husband, because I had four men approach me with that (saying I am their wife) and only one of them was right. Unfortunately, it has become just something that people say…and I’ve heard some men say that they are chased away by that line.

      God can reveal to you who you’re mate will be, but there is a right time and place to say everything.

      Thank you Kriss!

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